Why Do New Years and My Birthday Have to Happen SO Close to Each Other?

The coming of the new year is a time to look back on the excitement and accomplishments of the past year and reflect upon what you'd like to see and do in the future. Unfortunately, so is one's birthday. And my birthday just happens to be January 6th, a whole friggin 5 days after New Years Day. So, every year, I spend about 4 days or so thinking about how little I have accomplished in the past year, only to spend the next several days thinking about how much less time I have left to do the things I wanted now that I am another year older.

So, what did I accomplish this year? I can think of two things. I finally got the sweet, devoted little dress-me-up pup that I always wanted, which has been wonderful. And I lost some weight...kind of a lot, actually, but it is a serious mixed bag. I am WAY more self conscious when I am trying to lose weight. None of my clothes fit and I can't really afford to buy new ones. AND it's depressing and discouraging that a year and a half ago I set my goal (which was to be completed in a year) and still have 30-40 lbs to go. And that's it. I got a dog and I lost some weight. I didn't really try to do anything else, so I guess I can't really complain (oh, I can always complain...).

But then we get to the issue of my birthday...

I have never been one of those "Oh, no, it's my birthday, I'm getting so old" kind of people and I never thought that I would be. I have always thought that was stupid. I don't wear make-up, I don't try to look younger, and I am proud of my grey hair...though I did change my part to hide it. I am turning 29 this year and for some reason, I really feel extremely depressed about it. A couple of months ago, I was having lunch with my sister and dad and Jenna popped off with this little gem: "You're almost 30, and what have you done with your life?"

I can't remember why she said it. We weren't arguing, I can't imagine what would make her say that...and she tried to pass it off as a joke or something after she said it....but her reasons aren't really the point here....the point is: I am almost 30...and what HAVE I done with my life? Ever since then, it has been like a stream of secret you're-getting-old messages from every corner of my perception. Like you get a new pair of shoes and suddenly every other person on the street is wearing the same ones...Last night we were watching Mad Men and one of the characters was talking about the attractiveness of younger woman and said something like "What happens to them when they turn 30? It's like, someone turns off a light or something."

Ugh. Now I am one of those people. What does happen to us when we turn 30? I guess I'll find out next year.